Staying Gold
Most of us, usually during childhood, have heard of The Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Yet somewhere along the way through life many of us stray from this path. I bet that right this second, you can easily conjure up in your mind at least one time where you would be found guilty of this. We are human, and will make mistakes, so it happens! The most important thing is to return to form when you either realize you’ve done this, or when someone else points it out to you.
We live in a fast-paced world where we are conditioned to getting results quicker than ever. We want things as fast as possible and as accurate as possible so we can move on to the next thing which needs tackling. Sometimes this means that we are less focused on how we treat those who are doing these things for us, and that’s where the trouble starts. A sharp word, a disdainful glance, a “tsk” sound emitted ever so audibly, or an outburst and we are no longer treating others the way in which we would like to be treated. It is in these exact moments where we have the opportunity to not only get our needs met, but to make the other person feel good about themselves as well. If someone asks you for something and you don’t meet their expectations, wouldn’t it be a much more pleasant interaction if they were kind to you in rephrasing or repeating of the request?
Sometimes we are so focused on the next thing we have to do that we are counting on the current thing to be done perfectly and immediately. We wouldn’t want someone to always hold us to such a standard, so it’s unfair of us to do so in the reciprocal. In that moment where you have a flash of anger or annoyance, it’s much more beneficial to remember to “stay gold”. Almost nothing will decrease the motivation and productivity of a person more than harsh negative feedback. It’s in our nature to recoil from negative feedback and gravitate towards positive feedback. It can be a difficult skill to cultivate at first, but the results of this type of approach are profound.
I invite you now to think of a time when you did something for someone, anyone, and you received harsh negative feedback. It could have been a parent, a friend, a boss, or a partner. Think back to the feeling which coursed through your body the moment you received that harsh negative feedback. It probably doesn’t feel good to this day, does it? Now think back to a time when someone gave you feedback in a positive manner (even if the feedback was negative). That probably gives you a different feeling about the situation, the person who delivered it, but more importantly, yourself. The biggest factor in “staying gold” is making sure we don’t hurt another’s internal vision of themselves through our words or actions. It can take a great deal of time for a person to feel comfortable and happy with themselves or their environment, and only mere moments for someone else to shatter that for them. We wouldn’t want someone doing that to us, so we should be mindful to not do it to others, either.
Your relationships, whether personal, professional , or casual, will benefit from adhering to the idea of “staying gold”.
